that I am doing something worthwhile, that I am the piece of the puzzle that everyone seems to be looking for. I could say a lot of things, but nobody listens when I talk.
I don’t seem to fit anywhere right now. So here I am, in my room writing how I feel, playing video games, anything really, even plotting a way out of this maze I keep making myself.
When you lie in bed all day, you remember a lot. You close your eyes and listen to your own heart beat, and think about who you are.
I ask myself the same question Blair did, when did everything get so screwed up? This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I’m supposed to do. And I feel so lost.
I spend the day daydreaming. When I’m in bed all day, I live in another world. Face the wall and listen to the music that coincidentally, lyric for lyrics feels like it’s reading my mind and knows exactly how I feel, but that’s not really me, those are still someone else’s words.
Days like this reminds me of who I really am.
I am myself when I am laughing out loud with friends.
I am myself when I eat a slice of cheese cake and savour how happy every bite makes me feel.
I am myself when I am happy.
I am myself when I dont talk a lot.
I am myself when I choose to be alone.
I am myself when I treat my friends like family.
I tend to be dangerously hard on myself, so it helps that no one listens when I talk. Sometimes, not even me. ;)